Saturday, September 4, 2010

weeping in my father´s arms

As we work to bring sustainable change in Kay Pov opposition to the change arises. Following a meeting with the group of older women from the Catholic Church (Asdac), the mayor´s right hand, Stefan, and the pastor of the Catholic Church, Pe Nehemiah, I went to my haven in Kay Pov, to my family. Fabio opened his arms to receive me, I drew right into them and sobbed. All my frustrations, my sadness, my confusions, I let them go in his arms. Immediately Alex, George, and Flavio gathered around me repeating, “O, oh no, don´t cry, don´t cry.” Tiffany stood up and started screeching and bending back and forth occasionally letting out a laugh of hysteria.

Fabio unlocked me from his arms, set me back, looked into my flooding eyes and asked, “What´s wrong? Did someone do something to you?” Between my runny nose, gasps for air, broken Kreyol, and Tiffany´s chimes of laughter I´m not sure how much I got across, but he listened. They all listened intently. He held me in his arthritic, thin, dark arms until I let go.

I walked into Walter´s room to check on him before I left. The last few visits he´s been sleeping, his health continues declining. When I entered he seemed asleep again, but he scratched his mustache so I leaned in to whisper my blessings. When he heard my voice, his stillness left, “Luisely I mad at you!” “Ugh,” I thought, “Not today Walter.” “Why?” I asked with my congested nose from the tears. “My back hurt ooo so much and you come visit everyone, but me. I hear you speak and you forget me.” As I went explaining my respect for his apparent sleep and reminding him of my messages with the others full of kisses for him, he turned his head and reached out for me. “What´s wrong?” he interrupted. I stayed still; he had heard my tone of voice, felt the difference in my breathing and heard the congestion. “Why you cry?” His concern and his ability to read me without sight left my already vulnerable self in crumbs. I began to weep again he brought me in, as I leaned on his chest filling his shirt with tears and snot. I felt held by Papi. He felt my ribs, the same way he used to check on Stefanie, and asked, “Why you so bones? You eat?” “Yes, I´m eating Walter.” He allowed me to lean on him until my breath reached an almost normal pace and then he said, “God know.” He paused, “Luisely, we don´t need worry. God know. God always know.”

God´s reminders to live submersed in faith didn´t cease. The reading we read during our nightly reflection was the one where Jesus tells his friends to go further into sea and let down the nets. They doubted, but followed instructions. And look what happened. I need to continue with faith, because “God always know.”

With you,



  1. ay como los quiero.
    les mando tanto amor
    y los siento Luisely... por todo mi ser.

  2. I try to learn that lesson myself, God always knows best but I understand how difficult it must be for you who touch pain and suffering every day. It's also a blessing the way they smile and care for you.